Cabin in the Woods.  Woo!!!!

Do you like comedy?  Do you like horror?  What about hip, self-aware movies?  Well if you like any combination of the three then go see Cabin in the Woods.  What starts off as a typical horror story…. well, actually no, no it does not.  It starts off comically with two business workers talking about something in a facility that is somewhere.

Seriously, this movie is so hard to talk about without spoiling everything.  *Cracks knuckles*  Here we go!

So Chris Hemsworth (THOR),  a couple of cute girls I don’t recognize, a hilarious stoner (who the audience cheered for on many occasion), and a football jock all get together and are like “Wanna go to my cousins cabin in the woods for the weekend?” and their all like “Yeah totes, herp derp“.  Then they meet a creepy old gas station guy, he calls one of the girls a whore, they leave, an eagle explodes as it hits an invisible force field…..  I know, right?  Calling that girl a whore was way out of line.

Wolves make me hot. Do they make you hot too?

They get to the cabin and the real fun begins.  …. Butttttttttt I can’t tell you that fun, because it would ruin it for you.  Seriously, if somebody tries to spoil Cabin in the Woods for you, immediately slap them and say, “Not in my house, Rick!!“.  Even if their name isn’t Rick.  Because then they will be extra surprised.

On all horror aspects the movie delivers.  There is blood, tits, scares, decapitation, scary noises, ancient curses, zombies, unicorns, bear traps, axes, and pheromone gas.  Whenever you are thinking something, the movie quickly turns to you, winks, and parodies what you are thinking on-screen.  It toys with your expectations and laughs at you and with you.

Coffee mug or bong? You decide.

Comedy wise, the movie is plentiful.  Overflowing with jokes, nudges, clever lines, and wtf moments, Cabin in the Woods is a gem for your Disney obsessed girlfriend too.  His coffee mug bong is almost as much a character as the stoner himself.

“Damn Japanese and their perfect record”. Priceless.

I tell you though, in the third act there is something so awesome it simply can not be described.  It is worth ticket price alone.  God, it is so awesome.  This movie pays tribute to horror movies, mocks horror movies, and adds one of the most original new twists on the genre to date.  This is Drew Goddard’s directorial debut and he knocks it out of the park.

The wind did it!! …You’ll understand when you see it

All the actor’s do their part well and I have had to rethink Chris Hemsworth.  Where in Thor I found him a one-dimensional actor, Cabin of the Woods shows off a much more playful and clever side of him.   The girls are cute and even the “dumb blonde” is fairly smart (it’s not her fault they put libido increasing chemicals in her hair dye).  The football jock with “wonderful hands” turns out to have a deeply intellectual side and even the… shall we say, “first” monsters of the movie are fresher than most monsters these days.

My only concern is that the very end of the movie crawls a tiny bit, but that’s mainly because of the amazing scene before it.  There is no way to top it.  Also there is a rather implausible change of heart Chris Hemsworth has that is triggered by a mysterious gas.  It never really explained that one.

I give Cabin in the Woods a 9 out of 10 for being hilarious, scary enough, self-aware, and truly original in the current surge of new-age horror films.