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Captains Log #1: 8/8/2016 2200 hours:
After coming out of warp and crash landing on an undiscovered planet, I found myself surrounded by an alien landscape. The terrestrial sphere was covered in greenery with plenty of mountains that shaped the horizons in the distance. Trees littered the ground with plenty of never before seen flora and fauna. I cling to my identifying device and begin to scan in all of the plants and animals I come across. I know the suits back at home will appreciate the discoveries, and it will also put a bit of credit in my pocket.
At first I was too scared to leave my ship’s vicinity but as I gathered my tools and reminded myself how to use them, a feeling of confidence bellowed up within and I began to set out further and further. I collected a plethora of elements that would be good for fueling my suit’s life support systems as well as act as fuel for my ship.
My ship was heavily damaged in the crash landing but I have the tools to fix my temporarily derelict vessel. The sun seems to be shinning high in the sky but I know at some point night must come for this world. I know I had little time to piece what I needed together so I could get off this planet and back up into the stars.
Using my scanner I begin to locate specific elements and parts that will help with my repairs. Most of what I needed I could find close by but one reading had me setting off for about a mile or two in a Northern direction. I set off and stare awestruck at the spires and landscapes that rise from the ground in ways that are both alien and familiar. The color pallet runs the gamut with a multitude of greens, while blues and purples and browns are sprinkled through the environment. Crystals are sprouting up everywhere, and I take the time to break it all down and take it with me as they will act for goods I can trade when I find the nearest space station in this solar system.
I finally get to the element I am searching for and break it down while claiming it for my own. With everything I need in my possession, I begin to craft the elements and materials into parts and fuel for my ship. It was time to get off this rock, but not before taking a few detours on my way back. Thankfully my scanners keep my ship always in view, which limits the opportunities to become lost.
Or so I thought. My journey from my crash site was wrought with long jumps, falls, twist and turns, so getting back to my ship is nothing short of defying gravity. I opt to take a cave which looks to pass through the large landmass in my way. I had no clue that I would never see the sun again on this planet when I entered that cave.
Hours must have gone by as I traversed deeper and deeper, coming across a multitude of dead ends and twisty caverns that acted as a subterranean labyrinth. To keep my mind out of the prison of fear, I kept cerebrally occupied by collecting more elements and materials. Thankfully this cave was not as populated as the ground above. The solitude helped keep me focused as I navigated the dark cave filled with luminous plants and stalactites and stalagmites.
Finally, I found my way out of the cave and into the now night sky. It was a cathartic moment for me. I had gathered so much that I did not want that cave to become my tomb. Decisions needed to be made; I could make my way towards the ship but my scanners show that a settlement is nearby. It looks to be some sort of structure created by an intelligent life form for sure. I make my way a few miles East and come across a series of housing units that seem to be abandoned. Checking them out, I realize that nothing of use was left behind. To ensure this trek was not wasted, I begin to pillage the area of its resources.
Supposedly I had taken too much from this planet because those pesky Sentinels came after me. Those robotic law keepers are in nearly every solar system, who knows who built them, that’s half the reason I am out here, to find answers. After I ditched the Sentinels I was able to find a few lexicon monuments which taught me a few of the alien species’ words. As of this time I know 6 words from this language, one of which is “warning,” which I assume will come in handy for the dangers I am sure to face in the near future.
I had seen enough of this planet so I made my way back to my vessel. I replaced all the broken parts and filled up my ship. Getting into the cockpit, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I know a bit more about this solar system and my ship is working better than ever before. With little left to do here, I take off in my craft, boost out of the atmosphere and enter into the infinite space. Asteroids litter the foreground while stars occupy the background.
As I bob and weave through the asteroid belt I see another planet off in the distance. It seems that there is a moon for this planet as well. What really caught my eye was the orbiting space station around the undiscovered planet. With little room in my cargo bay of the ship as well as on my person, I knew I would need to go to that station to sell off and trade goods, and that is exactly what I did.
The journey took some time but it was meditative and soothing as I made my way towards the orbiting space station. As I approach the large planet and moon I notice that there are ships and carrier leaving both terrestrial bodies and heading towards the space station; it must be a popular pit stop. It was nice seeing that I was not alone in this area.
As I brought my vessel towards the space center, I align myself with the entrance. The tractor beam locks on to my ship and pulls me into the docking bay. Here I find a few alien species that are more than willing to work with me. Despite our language barrier. we make some trades, and I transact some good sales. After looking around the space station, I get back into my ship. Ready for takeoff, I boot up my engines and make my way towards the nearby moon.
The moon was a toxic nightmare. Corrosion occupies the ground with a horrifying poison that seeps through my life support systems in my suit. This gives me minimal time on the ground due to the litany of dangers that occupied this moon. I had just enough time to land on the planet, exit my ship, and take a short look around. No time passed before I was attacked by some very hostile quadrupeds. Leaving the moon as quick as I entered it, I made my way towards the larger planet.
I get a notification that there is a beacon nearby, and said device is broadcasting a signal. My intrigued gets the better of me and I feel obligated to check it out. I enter the planet’s atmosphere, fly high above the ground as I follow the waypoint towards the beacon.
As I arrive, I take a quick landing and rummage through the debris to find the beacon. Discovering it bestowed a new tech blueprint for me to utilize. It was a warp drive, one powerful enough to get me out of this solar system. This will get me closer to my goal that exists within the center of the universe. The materials I would need to make this drive would be hard to come by and very expensive. Perhaps some local sentient life would be able to help.
Again, I get a blip on my scanner that there is a settlement nearby. I hop in my ship and take a quick flight there to find a base. In that base sat an alien that looked to be the same race as the one in the space station. He was friendly as I shared some oxygen with me and gave him some elements he needed. He was more than willing to point out a device nearby that allows me to buy, sell, and trade goods. I was able to price out some of the items I would need to build the drive. It was also a good time to offload some recently discovered elements and artifacts.
I figured this settlement would be as good as a place as any to settle down for a bit. A long stent of explorations has me reporting enough for this log. My future logs will be in this format. You need to know what’s out there. What I am experiencing is important because perhaps one day you will take the interstellar plunge. It all begins with that simple decision…do you have the courage to enter the unknown?
Five friends walk into a bar. Then another. And another…
The World’s End is a movie about five high school friends who once attempted to drink a pint at each of the twelve bars in their town. This feat is referred to as the golden mile, but they couldn’t quite pull it off. Their fearless leader (Simon Pegg) walks around in a black trench coat, combat boots, and a punk rock attitude about anything and everything. His right hand man (Nick Frost) always has his back. Their three other friends (Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, and Eddie Marsan) and mainly along for the ride. Years pass. They lose touch with one another. Everyone moves on in life except for Gary King (Simon Pegg). So he gets the gang back together to attempt to finish the golden mile, hoping that it will fill the hole that has become his life.
Okay, so we all saw Shaun of the Dead right? What about Hot Fuzz? Some loved the first and weren’t really down with Hot Fuzz. Those people were wrong. Hot Fuzz is great. Taking the formula that worked so well in those two movies, The World’s End decides to flip Nick Frost and Simon Pegg from their usual character roles. This time, Simon Pegg is the bumbling idiot, while Nick Frost plays the level-headed one. The good is that Nick Frost pulls off the role switch with colors, giving an impassioned strength to the character. The bad is that Simon Pegg pulls of the idiot, but can’t quite give him the endearing likeability that Frost normally does.
The first two acts of the movie are tightly weaved, supplying several fun moments. The cinematography is hands down the best of the three, with Edgar Wright’s love of quick-cut, adrenaline fueled expositions showing his experience from the past few movies he’s done come full circle. The choreographer from the past few movies returns as well. Learn her name.
Litza Bixler.
She is wonderful and The World’s End is easily her crowning achievement in choreography, with fight scenes that would fall to pieces in less capable hands.
In fact, The World’s End can be summed up by the choreography and cinematography. Edgar Wright shines as a director. Litza Bixler knocks it out with the choreography. The third act though? Frankly, it was a let down. The final joke gets a bit stretched out and heavy-handed. The time wasted in this scene could have been used to show off more of the rich back story between the five friends. Luckily, there is a fun little epilogue that ties things up without giving the typical “happy ending”.
This is a small complaint and the movie is a good time, but definitely not as powerful as Shaun of the Dead or as thrilling as Hot Fuzz.
I give The World’s End a 7 out of 10.
Johnny Townsend
Staff Writer
Koala@ihogeek.com
Alright, let me get this out-of-the-way… If you are going to see Battleship to see Liam Neeson be a badass Captain, then turn right around and go see another movie, because while Liam Neeson is in the movie for a total of about seven minutes, he is not involved with the main fight at all. Now if you are going to see Battleship, because you are curious what Transformers would look like at sea, then sure…. give it a go.
Hit the jump for the full review.
The Avengers. What else do I need to say?
Well for starters, “Go see it” comes to mind. I would normally be all like, “Want to know if it is good or bad? Well hit the jump to find out.”. But really. Just go see it.
Hit the jump if you would like to read a SPOILER FREE review of The Avengers. Also hit the jump if you are awesome ;)
Attack the Block!!! Heard of it? Probably not, because it isn’t a superhero movie!! Get out from under your rock and join me on an adventure of a review, where I may or may not tell you about the best movie of the summer (Adventure not guaranteed).