Humanity, Alcohol and Indoor Plumbing.

So as I was coming back from the Vista Viking Festival last week, I was wondering how mankind had ever gotten anything done. No really. Think about this for a minute.

The vast breadth of history is peppered with people coming out of a stupor for long enough to finally do something. Then they celebrated. In the case of Oktoberfest, they celebrated for a month.

Mankind has had options for fermented libation for about as long as or maybe longer than they have been able to record such information. Potentially, the ability to write it down was impeded by the access to it in the first place.

Side note: I do have a great appreciation for good beer. Can’t and don’t like to drink overmuch, but I do like to “see the world” of beer as it were.

Consider this: Before the ability to moderate and measure the alcohol content of any adult beverage, it was basically a Russian roulette game of how much a pint was going to do you. Not to mention that containers would sometimes, I don’t know, have lead based materials in them.Which, to refresh, is not a good thing.

So Negative Ten (-10, roll die) for predictability of finding one’s way home or having a functional nervous system in the long run.

Also, drinking began as a regular life item much younger in days past.

So with all this in mind, I switch topics to the toilet and other modern appliances.

Who were these people who were sober enough to not only think of indoor relief convenience but be able to build one as well?

Hell, how long did it REALLY take to build the wheel?

“Hey there Samuel, this ‘axle’ bit looks great and all but Jeremiah here has some really bitchin’ Strong Honey Water. How about we put down the awl for  . . . a month.”

I’ve asked people about this topic before and in the older generation the consensus is generally, “Well, we didn’t know and never thought it was any issue.”

In application to pregnancy plus drinking and smoking.

So how did we ever get anything done? If people were casually drinking ALL THE TIME and it was normal, when did anyone finally think of putting a loo in? How many different people thought of it and then wrote it down on a bar napkin or something and then forgot in the morning?

Who was the first person to sober up long enough to think, “You know what would be better than this hole in the ground? A tube you can sit on. Maybe . . .  hiccup . . . . maybe you connect it to one of those Roman thingys the  aqua . . .. aqua . . . hic . . .. aquaduct . . . yeah. Why didn’t the Romans do this? If if if, they’re Sooooo smart, well, whatever . . . probably too much wine. Stupid Romans and their pointy leather skirts. . .. what a bunch . . . don’t need em’ anyhow.”

The even funnier thing is, we’ve seen what happens when alcohol is banned. What little leftover brainpower mankind had was suddenly devoted to finding creative, ingenious ways to get alcohol again. Oh yes, and how to build fast cars. To better transport the alcohol.

Necessity=Madre de Inventione
Maybe the “water closet” as it was once known became more important when people finally decided that hiking outside in the cold after a pint of “winter warmer.” was just too much to commit too.

Hrrrrrrrmmmmmm . . . . cheers.