Sucks to be a Noob: My Little Pony

I would have to be an idiot to not notice all the MLP love at conventions this year and an even bigger idiot to not give something with such a huge fandom a try. After one whole season straight via Netflix, what’s my verdict? Am I infused with Brony/Pegasisters love? Well…While I’m not ready to brandish wings of my own, I can certainly appreciate the lure of My Little Pony as it’s colorful, has fleshed out characters, decent story arcs, and if that’s not enough, all the cute you can handle. The cast itself is as follows:

Twilight Sparkle

Obvious jokes aside about a certain atrociously written book series, she’s a bossy little pony whose strengths seem to lie in the secretarial arts. She’s the teacher pet of matriarch, Princess Celestia and as such, she can be a tad bit obnoxious on her quest to learn more about the magic of friendship. Her associate/slave is an adorable, chubster of a dragon named Spike. Spike is basically there to do her bidding and sends Twilight’s dictated letters to the Princess.

Fluttershy
A bashful little pony with many animal friends, Fluttershy is by far my favorite of the six. Shy, impossibly adorable, there just wasn’t enough screen time given to this yellow pony, aside from an episode involving a dragon. Her main reason to exist seems to be having super fucking cute animal friends who she wakes up at the beginning of spring with her soft voice and little bell.

Rainbow Dash
She is in my top two most loathed ponies. Not only is she an annoying little blur of rainbowed colors who flies through the air, she’s selfish and puts herself first. Her lifelong dream is to join up with these elitist looking ponies called the Wonderbolts who basically do fancy shit in the air. Aside from zooming around all over the place, she doesn’t do much. Oh, she also has a friend who is the bitchiest griffin EVER.

Rarity
Rarity is indeed the prettiest pony of the bunch, however she is also haughty and all about the latest fashions. She seems completely content to just hang out in her little pony studio and not be bothered but noooo, someone always has to drag her outside where her hooves will inevitably get dirty. The only episode I really liked her in was where she had to make all the other ponies fancy dresses and instead of standing up for her amazingly pretty dresses, she let’s them run all over her. Come to think of it…I don’t think I did like that episode!!!

Apple Jack
I would like this pony with the southern drawl if she wasn’t such an obvious caricature on southerners. Her family is large and have hilariously funny apple themed names, like Granny Smith who is in fact, her granny. Stubborn as a mule, I think Apple Jack has a lot of redeeming qualities for a little pony as she is hardworking and loyal.

Pinky Pie
Meet the second of my most loathed ponies. Aside from being all around annoying and the color of Pepto Bismol, Pinkie Pie can’t trot around like everypony, she has to hop and sing songs. I also suspect she is high off mushrooms and/or acid because half the things she says and does are ridiculous. She seems to be the most loved of the ponies, but I didn’t mean to make anyone get all butthurt ,so calm down you guys! She might get better in later season. I will say that she is the most optimistic of the ponies and nothing every seems to dampen her spirit.

Throughout the season, we seem them take on various issues ranging from the one real threat to all of ponydom to a sleeping dragon to issues that can translate to the real world, such as bullying. As someone who was hardcore into My Little Pony as a child (think very late 80s to early 90s), this just isn’t for me. I’m all for you guys and your pony love, but I highly doubt I’ll ever be obsessed about it. I do think MLP is fantastic for young girls as each pony has their own distinctive personality and their own take on the situations in each episode, so they’ll be able to relate. Now, excuse me while I continue my journey of fandoms with Breaking Bad, but feel free to leave your thoughts below, be they cursing my name or congratulating me on not falling down the rabbit’s hole. Until next time!