So as I prepare for the apocalypse, or Koalapocalypse (…..I know, I know), the same thought passes through my mind that passes through the rest of the nation. “What’s good on tv?”, or as we like to call it, the internet. Well, I’ll list a few things for you to try, in no specific order.
1) LOST
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so the ending was “meh”, but the first three seasons were the cats pajamas. And besides, you won’t make it past season three before killer hell-spawn chipmunks are eating your face. The apocalypse waits for no one.
2) Apocalypse Now
A timeless war movie unlike any of the others, due in part to Francis Ford Coppola’s (the Godfather) haunting vision of Vietnam. But hey… Martin Sheen is young in it, and that alone is worth watching before all the volcanoes on earth erupt at once.
3) Apocalypto
Mel Gibson’s take on the “end of the world” although you won’t see the ending coming. It’s pretty much a glorified chase movie, but it’s pretty cool none the less.
4) Highschool of the Dead
What happens if the end of the world is filled with zombies and a ton of hot girls who wear little to no clothing? Well that means you are watching Highschool of the Dead. This anime is pretty heavy on the gore, fan-service, and zombie tropes, but if that’s your cup of tea then no anime does it better.
5) Tucker and Dale vs Evil
So what happens if the end of the world doesn’t happen and it’s just a bunch of stupid kids getting themselves all worked up over nothing (spoiler: it is)? Tucker and Dale vs Evil takes this to new heights as some stupid college kids scare themselves so badly they accidentally start killing themselves to some darkly hilarious results. Plus it stars Alan Tudyk.
6) The Walking Dead
Do I need to explain this one? Look, if you aren’t on the hype train yet you seriously need to get your ass on Netflix and watch the first two seasons.
7) Heroes
In our time of unparalleled mock need, only one show can save us. Heroes. Season 1 only though… I swear I will punch you if you watch more than season 1. It just gets worse and worse and… I digress. But how bout’ that season one though, eh?!
8) Deadliest Warrior
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will have us fighting against Apaches, gladiators, vikings, samurai, Spartans, ninjas, pirates, knights, the Yakuza, the Mafia, green beret, Spetnaz, and Jesse James. This show will teach you their methods and how to best defend yourself against them (seriously).
9) Rare Exports
Maybe you just want to celebrate Christmas early tomorrow before the solar flare vaporizes you and your tree? Fear not, you can watch Rare Exports, a movie about how Santa is a giant demon. Yep.
10) Arrested Development
Since the apocalypse isn’t happening you know what you should really do? Watch seasons 1-3 of Arrested Development since season 4 will be on Netflix in the beginning of next year. Now is the perfect time to catch up. While everyone else is on FaceBook saying, “See I told you it wouldn’t happen” or, on an unfortunate chance, “Oh my god my flesh is melting off!”, you will be enjoying a timeless shows that even the Mayans remember fondly.
John Townsend
Staff Writer
koala@ihogeek.com