San Diego Comic Con is just about a month away and there’s a ton of stuff that we’re excited to see come out of the show, like the big announcements from all of the major movie and TV studios and comic book big (and little) shots. However, one of the major draws to the West Coast mecca for geek culture is the exclusive toys that are available at the show.
Over the last couple of weeks, Funko, the purveyor of fine Pop! vinyls, has announced their lineup of SDCC exclusive figures. We have compiled everything right here for you so you can decide before you go which ones you can’t live without (or salivate over the exclusives you’ll need to hunt down on eBay if you can’t make it to San Diego).
Almost every member of the Sub-Cultured team has a pet, and every single one of those pets has a nerd-tacular name (you can see them in the gallery below). BUT, none of them are named after actual fictional pets, which I thought was a little odd. So herein lies an article listing fictional pets you can use as a namesake for your very best friend:
For Those With A Feline Inclination
- Crookshanks: Hermione’s orange-striped, squishy-faced companion is both gloriously hideous and amazingly over-sized. And if that isn’t everything you want in a cat then I don’t know what you’re doing .
- Skimbleshanks: or really any of the names from “Cats” will do. Skimble just happens to be my favorite one, as well as one of the better songs from the show. If you’re choosing based on personality, it’s also probably preferable to have a railway cat over, say, one with remarkable knocking-things-over skills.
- Luna/Artemis: especially for cats with peculiar bald spots or a tendency to speak to you about your life as a magical girl.
- Garfield: The second ginger kitty on the list, but the only one who eats lasagna and suuuuuper hates Mondays.
- Marie/Toulouse/Berlioz/Duchess: These are the main characters from the Aristocats. Bonus points for having one of each. Points detracted for naming your cat after any other characters in the movie.
- Simba/Nala/Mufasa: I mean, obviously.
- Spot: Data’s little buddy would make a great companion to anyone who is struggling with that android/human divide. Or anyone who doesn’t want to seem as nerdy as they really are.
- Oliver: And again with the gingers. Oliver and Company is one of the very few mostly-animal-cast movies that I enjoy thoroughly. I’d like to blame it on Billy Joel, but it’s probably because the little girl and I have the same name.
- Figaro: For a throw-back to Pinocchio in case you’d forgotten–Gepetto has a cat and a fish, probably because he also thinks wishing is how you get kids.
- Binx: The cat from Hocus Pocus. Do not recommend letting your Binx get run over by a bus. I doubt the result would be the same as in the movie.
- Alfred: The Bat-family kitten. He can be your body guard and you can call him Al. Although he’d probably let you call him Al anyhow.
Nerdy Pets Who Are Also Dogs
- Nymeria/Ghost/Lady: So okay you like Game of Thrones. I suppose how dedicated you are to the series will determine how unique you want to go with this name selection.
- Snuffles/Sirius/Padfoot: Is your dog actually your godfather, on the run from the law? In that case, maybe seek legal assistance before worrying about what to call him. Otherwise these are some great Harry Potter references for you to choose from.
- Appa/Naga: There are a lot of big shaggy dogs on this list. Huh.
- Dug: If you’re really into being reminded every day how sad “Up” was, then this is the perfect name for your dog.
- Nana: So okay Peter Pan fans across mediums can agree that Nana is easily one of the greatest characters of all time. Hands down, no arguments.
- Dodger: Back to Oliver and Company, because I’m not kidding about how much I love that movie. Or Billy Joel. Or baseball.
- Pluto/Goofy: for those of us who have a more classical interest in Disney.
- Pizza Dog/Lucky/Arrow: If you haven’t read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye, then you should definitely do that, then name your pup after Clint’s second most-loyal companion (after Kate).
- Clifford: the biggest of the big red dogs. You can go the literal route and give this moniker to your St. Bernard, or get ironic with it and gift this name to your pomeranian. Either way it’s gonna be cute.
- Wishbone: When you have a dog that can read and was born with a paw print on one ear, you don’t really have a choice but to name him Wishbone. Otherwise you can still use the name, but deep down you know it won’t be as cool. As an added bonus you can ask your pup “what’s the story, Wishbone?” and he’ll probably give you a half-hour version of a classic tale like the Odyssey.
- Krypto: Superman’s dog. Krypto or Superdog might have been the first comic-book pet. He’s pretty cool and I bet your puppy is, too.
Nerdy Pets Who Don’t fit the Traditional Pet Dichotomy
- Pascal: Chameleons are really good at hide-and-seek.
- Trevor: keep a close eye on him though, I hear toads are slippery.
- Icarus: man this is from the depths of nerd-dom. Little Nemo, who is not lost nor in need of finding, has a friend who is a flying Squirrel. He has a rude name, but it’s still pretty nerdy.
- Yoshi: once upon a time my boyfriend knew a pig named Yoshi. But it would also be a great name for a turtle. Or a dino, I guess.
- Chewbacca: Any pet that looks like a walking carpet would benefit from such a regal name.
- Gizmo: be careful with this one. It comes with rules.
- Kermit: If you can teach your frog to play the banjo, you get bonus points.
- Abu: I like this name especially if you have a pet that can’t keep their paws to themselves. Or a magpie.
- Gus-Gus: Cinderella’s mice could sew like champs. What can yours do?
- Bowser: or, maybe not.
- Smaug: All your treasures will be super safe unless you have dwarf enemies in which case they may not be that safe.
Fair Warning: if you are potentially triggered by discussions focusing on Old White Guy relationships, this may not be the article for you. Like Gandalf and Saruman (who was a nice guy in all those other Tolkien books that you haven’t read), for instance. Saruman was understandably jealous of the trail of happy, clapping halflings that I imagine trailed behind the Mithrandir everywhere he roamed. Theirs was a friendship doomed to fail, as are curiously many others that are loved and lost our most beloved books, movies, and shows. Hell, like most things, there’s even a whole page dedicated to the Evil Best Friend trope. Why is this trope so popular though? Just because it’s a guaranteed way to tug at our heart strings? Or is it because we relate and remember that our best friend in middle school became that bitch/bastard we hated in high school?
To examine these relationships further, let’s look at another common role: the Eccentric Mentor, here we have our grey and bearded Dumbledores and Obi-Wans. Something beyond facial hair they have in common? Former best friends that went to the dark side.
Wouldn’t it fuck you up to have to kill your friend? Worse, what would happen to the failed hero, when they realized they couldn’t quite defeat their frenemy and the world spiraled in to darkness because of it? You’d probably live in a cave and tell everyone you’re a wizard like Ben Kenobi, too. Our kooky mentors are always far more interesting when it is revealed that their dedication to guiding young heroes is driven by wanting to see their proteges succeed where they ultimately failed. The hero, then, must also take in to account that the big bad and symbol of all that is unholy, was also a person, friend, and child. This kind of humanization of both good and evil characters creates a way more relatable and heartrending conflict.
And when we finally get that long awaited Lion King direct-to-video prequel, I bet we find out that Rafiki was bros with the evil Koba from the most current round of Planet of the Apes movies. Of course the story doesn’t end there, or usually even start there. We first meet these characters as they attempt to take on the polarized conflict that arose out of their crumbling friendships by looking toward the next generation to succeed where they failed. Often the teams that they assemble are questionably young, but determined and righteous.
Is this fair? Wouldn’t it been nice for the world if Avatar Roku had handled his own best friend before he went all empire building and killed off all the poor dragons? Sure. Yes. Should have tried that out, Roku. But, story-wise, occasionally bestowing pearls of wisdom to the ragtag band of misfits divinely selected to clean up your mess is a far more interesting way to go. There’s a reason why season 3 of Buffy is the best season (couldn’t just talk about bros for an entire blog piece) and why by season 22 of the comics, we’ll see the disciples of the two best slayers duking it out while Buffy and Faith cheer from the sidelines. This trope naturally produces two stories and two sets of protagonists: the fall, in which worlds fall in the wake of the ruined friendship and the fix, in which a new crew is burdened with the mistakes of the past. This is the shit that gets Hollywood salivating at the prospect of turning trilogies into unnecessary quartets along with bonus prequels and origins swill.
The conflict then, is is more than just good versus evil, it’s about the next generation solving the problems caused by those before it, and often it’s done through unity and healing, rather than just straight forwardly chopping at evil with a sword/saber/wand. This type of story is different then and acknowledges that the Xavier’s of the fictional world didn’t just fail to stop evil, they failed to save a friend.
To properly mourn and appreciate, here’s a slide show of my favorite shattered friendships.
Kaitlyn D’Agostino
Staff Writer
Last year we listed some of our favorite fictional couples. This year, we’re turning the spotlight on some of our favorite fictional ladies who manage to ride solo (and one who does that literally. OH SNAP.), and still succeed. In order to qualify for this list, these ladies don’t necessarily have to remain single til their dying day, but they did need to remain independent, and getting their man could not be one of their main goals.
Hermione Granger
Perhaps it’s surprising that one half of my OTP is at the top of this list. But that’s exactly my point here–does Hermione really NEED a man to tell her what to do or how to do it? No. No she does not. And that’s the great part about being on this list, and being a modern lady. You can have a dude in your life but he shouldn’t be a crutch. He should just be a lovely red haired man who is particularly fond of pets and also whose parents are pretty much the best people on the planet. I’m digressing. The point here is that Hermione is smart, she’s resourceful, she knows how to make fire in a jar. Bam. Independent woman.
Runners up in the Harry Potter universe:
Luna Lovegood, who became a herione despite starting off as that crazy chick in the corner, and book!
Ginny Weasley, who is way cooler and more interesting than her wet-noodle movie counterpart.
Merida DunBroch
Merida is the best. When that movie ended and (spoiler alert) she was still chillin’ as a Princess with no Prince, it was like a breath of fresh air. Some people reacted by accusing her of being a lesbian. To which every feminist and most reasonable people on the planet responded, “And so what if she is?”. However, that’s not really the point. The point is, she can ride a gigantic horse, climb mountains without equipment, and quiet a castle mess hall full of rowdy drunk Scotsmen. Trust me–that is no easy feat. Merida doesn’t even care about all the guys trying for her hand, and what’s more, she points out that they shouldn’t be forced to love HER, either. That’s called equality.
Runner-up?
That goes to Queen Elinor DunBroch, who kicks ass in spite of her bumbling husband and defiant children. She’s a mom and a Queen and a fairly modern woman. For living in medieval Scotland, of course.
Leia Organa-Solo
Leia and Hermione have a lot in common in the man category, except that Han is just as independent on his own as Leia is on hers. Their courtship is nothing short of adorable, but Leia knows inter-planetary warfare isn’t the time to let her feelings get in the way of… inter-planetary warfare. Not to mention she essentially frees herself from Jabba and manages to kill him before taking off. Okay, so the first time we see her she’s in jail and the guys actually open her cell, but who has the best aim among them? Who gets the message to Obi-Wan in the first place? It’s Leia. Take the men out of the movie and she might have had a harder time getting out of these situations, but without jerks like her overbearing dad (sorry, Vader), maybe there wouldn’t have been the Star Wars to begin with.
On second thought, that would be a terrible idea. Let the men fuck things up so Leia can fix them.
Runners up all come from the Extended Universe:
Jaina Solo, Mara Jade, and Ahsoka Tano all squeak in behind Leia. That doesn’t mean they’re less heroic or independent. Ahsoka might still be a Padawan but she’s a heroine in her own right, and Jaina manages to save the entire universe from (surprise) her jerk of a brother. What is it with the Skywalkers and their descendants?
Ami Mizuno
While each of the sailor scouts kind of split the heroic action, they also split their time fairly equally between being heroic and drooling over boys. In the early seasons, it feels like Serena can’t do shit without fighting over Andrew, Darien, that Fish-eye guy, or (good looks, Usagi…) Amara. Ami, or Sailor Mercury, is the exception that proves the rule in this case. When she isn’t fighting evil by moonlight, she’s studying or helping Rini out with things, or just generally being a fine upstanding citizen. She’s like that friend who you a little bit hated because after they left your mom was always like, “Why can’t you be more like her?”. Not to mention, Ami is always way more on top of the whole fighting evil thing than probably any of the other scouts care to be. She takes everything very seriously. It’s like a pain in the ass to get her to come to the beach. Even in the summer. But all that focus pays off, and Ami frequently stays one step ahead of whatever suddenly anthropomorphic plant the girls wind up fighting.
Runner up in the Sailor Moon universe is Sailor Pluto.
She’s cool, and she doesn’t give a crap about Darien.
Donna Noble
BEFORE YOU GET UPSET – Yes I know that in her first episode her storyline revolves around getting and keeping a man. However. Compared to the rest of the Doctor’s companions, Donna is easily the most independent. She likes traveling with the Doctor because it makes her life more interesting, not because she feels bad for and eventually loves him, not because she’s in love with him from the get-go, and not because he promised her he’d be back when she was six and now she’s completely fixated on him. Donna is with the Doctor on her terms, and she gives him shit for being… the Doctor. I’d argue that most of the companions in new!Who are heroines in their own right, but they have at the very least romantically fond feelings towards the Doctor, and spend their time with him like some strange alien-human version of Hugh Hefner and every girlfriend he hasn’t married. They want to make him THEIR Doctor, but Donna just wants to hang out and be bros.
Runner up goes begrudgingly to Martha Jones.
Look, I don’t like her, but I get why people do. She’s in love with the Doctor and he’s a butthole to her, and she leaves. It takes her way longer than I would have liked to figure out he doesn’t feel the same way she does, but I guess she’s better than Clara, whose literal entire storyline revolves around saving the Doctor.
Bulma Briefs
If you’ve been with us since the beginning, you know we feel some kind of way about the women in Dragon Ball, Z, and GT, and this may be partially personal preference speaking, but Bulma is just the greatest. Again, she marries Vegeta, but I’m pretty sure that went something like, “OH OKAY WE’RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY HERE’S YOUR SUIT HERE’S MY DRESS ANNNND WE’RE DONE.” Bulma is ultra smart, and goes out on her own to find the Dragon Balls. Her independence has been hotly contested, but I remember Bulma, especially in Dragonball, as a strong woman who will pretty much take a sledge hammer to any man’s head if he disrespects her.
Runners up include Videl and Chi-Chi
Both of whom could beat the crap out of all of us, and without whom their husbands would have died early deaths from gluttony and stupidity. (Although I love them both very much.)
Elphaba Thropp
Elphaba is probably more commonly known to most of you as the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s the main character in the novel Wicked, and in the musical based on the novel. Elphaba’s gotten the shaft from every last man in her life, and from some of the women, too. That doesn’t stop her from honing her skills in magic, heading off to University, befriending people who only started chilling with her to make fun of her, and unmasking a major government cover-up. Elphaba wants to become the Wizard’s right-hand woman, but when she finds out what he’s really up to she risks her life to set things right. Even when she does get a man, she doesn’t let him change her direction or slow her down in her ultimate goal.
Runner up is, of course, Galinda the good. (No, I didn’t spell that wrong.)
Galinda is a little too focused on the men around her for my liking, and of course the whole point of Wicked is to reverse our expectations. But in the end it’s not about her relationships with men – not even the Wizard. The story is truly about how Elphaba and Galinda balance each other out and turn each other from caricatures into “real” people. Without one, the other wouldn’t be nearly as complex.
Sarabi from The Lion King
HAVE YOU SEEN THE LION KING? ALSO, DO LIONS HAVE LAST NAMES?
Sarabi. Gives. No. Fucks.
Runner up: Nala.
She tells Simba like it is and drags his ass back to pride rock.
Lara Croft
Again, if I need to back this one up, I don’t know where you’ve been living. Lara Croft is still one of the only female character in video games who has single-handedly headed up a massive franchise for the last 22 years. She’s gotta be smart and in good shape to do the kind of tomb raiding she’s been doing for decades, and you know you’ve made it when Angelina Jolie plays you in a film. Plus, she’s become more realistically proportioned as the years have passed. Go ahead. Name one man that Lara has had to lean on, for anything, ever. Okay?
That’s what I thought.
Princess Tiana
Tiana has one goal and one goal only: to open her own restaurant. She works hard to save up money to buy her restaurant. She makes lots of food because she wants to get better when she owns her own restaurant. She has the opportunity to cater a big party to get better exposure for her eventual restaurant. See the pattern here? Arguably, Naveen teaches her to love or something, but when they do get married, guess what he does? Goes to work in her restaurant. And guess who told her she needed other people in order to be happy with that restaurant? Mama Odie. Yeah. Tiana don’t need no man.
Runner up: Mulan.
Mulan came before Tiana, and she definitely busted through lady stereotypes and hated being all dolled up by the Matchmaker. However, she makes her sacrifice on behalf of her father, and takes part in the fighting… but doesn’t have her own “restaurant”.
Got any other super ultra badass babes you can think of? Let us know in the comments below!
Congratulations, you’ve made it halfway through V-day, whether you like it or not! Your stomach is probably grumbling about now, and it’s probably because you haven’t had any food specifically prepared for your by Molly Weasley today. The bad news is this article won’t cook the food for you, but the good news is there are some excellent resources to help you cook like the Weasley matriarch herself! Okay, okay, there are recipes for cooking like a house elf, too. And for making butter beer. And for other delicious food so good you will likely think it took actual magic to make them. (more…)