J: This week was legitimately TERRIFYING. Like I actually FREAKED OUT for the first time since Waters of Mars.
M: Ya you shrank down into nothing for a while there.
J: I think what totally freaked me out was the fact that I’m so used to the door swinging open and the Doctor being like AMELIA POND! GET YOUR COAT! not like MRRAAAWWWWW MONSTER FAAAAACCCEEEE
M: That surprised me the first time I saw it actually, I had no idea it was the Doctor which is a bit strange that I didn’t figure out that it was him. I usually pick up on these things.
J: That’s what I’m saying they reversed our expectations because they’ve been doing it the other way for so long.
M: Interesting that they called him Monster when he just said in “Hide” “Every lonely monster needs a companion.” Probably coincidence but who knows…ya know…Moffat. Cause apparently Moffat’s been planting stuff for the past bajillion years. You notice the Doctor at the end did hint that he wanted to take Clara to Victorian London to see if she’d “like it” a.k.a jog her memory.
J: Doctor is a troll. But I like the prospect of taking the kids with them. I see something like Summer Falls in next week’s episode.
M: Next one looks very cybery, Doctor’s wearing a Borg thing on his face.
J: It reminds me of the thing in the Western episode.
M: Screw that episode.
J: Yes. yes indeed. OH HEY SPEAKING OF SHITTY EPISODES Mark Gatiss is totally making up for “Victory of the Daleks” here. I didn’t even think that was possible.
M: UGH THAT EPISODE. Amy got it bad with that one and the two-parter Silurian reboot. Ugh. But yeah this is loads better than “Cold War” which wasn’t particularly that engrossing for me either.
J: VIVA LAS SUBMARINE. I liked “Cold War”.
M: It’s ‘LOS’ but ANYWAY (GOD)
J: Las. Like Las Vegas. GOD MAX.
M: Psh. Either way I’ve been enjoying that the last two weeks have been meatier and meatier shows. I liked that Clara basically died again last episode but didn’t.
J: BISH NEEDS TA GO
M: Still a little hostile there huh.
J: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m watching out for Matt and Karen’s marriage here.
M: Jenna’s dating someone from Game of Thrones. So she’s not a threat.
J: Johnny Snow.
M: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah so much ice and snow stuff.
J: Why do these reviews always turn in to gossip hour with Jen and Max?
M: Because our lives. Look at them.
J: Fair Point.
M: BUT YES THIS LAST EPISODE felt more like series 5 and 6 again. It was completely ridiculous but I thought it was pretty darn good. Finally something passes the Bechdel test lately. Amazing performances by Dame Diana Rigg and her daughter Rachel Stirling.
J: I thought last week’s was more series 5-6. This week felt totally fucking terrifying. And very Sherlocky. But like weirdly gender-bent Sherlock. With a GPS Irregular and a weird mustache man with a penchant for fainting. There was…a lot of shit in this episode.
M: There really was. I’m a bit disappointed Madame Vastra didn’t do more. Jenny sort of stole the show especially with that Victorian Emma Peel catsuit. (enter image here so people know what the EFF you’re talking about.) Which was clearly an homage since Dame Diana Rigg played the villain Mrs Gillyflower.
J: I like that about this episode.
M: A lot of people were upset that he kissed Jenny, but it was obvious after Clara was thawed when they are de-calcified so they’re loopy so…he’d probably have done that to anyone.
J: It was very CLASSIC Doctor Who like he’s just kissing her because he’s overly excited and doesn’t know what else to do about it. CUE THE IMAGES OF DOCTOR KISSING RORY AND THEN ALL THE FANGIRLING IN THE WORLD.
M: I can see why people wouldn’t like it since she’s queer, but she does appropriately slap him. This episode was filmed before they filmed The Snowmen so they didn’t reveal or possibly even know yet that Jenny and Madame Vastra got married. Obviously still a couple.
J: With a pet potato, apparently.
M: I want a spin-off. Now.
J: Doctor Sherlock. NO. MADAME SHERLOCK.
M: Madame Vastra IS Sherlock, as his exploits were the inspiration for her.
J: I’m not sure Sherlock ever ate the people he was investigating though. At least not in canon.
M: That’s Hannibal.
J: I’d call her a cannibal, except we’re a different species.
M: “Journey to the Center of the Tardis” was interesting too, we missed talking about that last week, anything in particular you’d like to say bout that episode too? I thought it was good.
J: It reminded me of the last two seasons for a few reasons: the development of the TARDIS as her own character was really strong, and the exploration of a mysterious character was also pretty interesting. I’m fairly convinced that Clara is going to turn out to be River and the Doctor’s baby. I mean of all the shit on that ship, she found his cradle and the paper mache TARDIS that Amy made as a child and Mels plays with in “Let’s Kill Hitler”.
M: The strong emphasis on family in every single episode especially with this past episode deliberately written for the mother/daughter actress duo it seems pretty strong that’s obviously family will probably be a big part of who Clara is. She may be Kate from Amy’s book actually come to life somehow, haven’t seen that theory. I’m excited that 11 gets not only two new companions next episode, they are the also some of the youngest he’s probably had, and are also well, not white. A big criticism so far of this era is that all of the companions have been well, white.
J: YES. I love that we’re getting a lot of different companions. And also now “chairs” have been added to the Doctor’s arsenal.
M: Wood chair I might add.
J: I was definitely expecting that glass to stay put when he swung the chair. But this does make a really good point I wasn’t meaning to make–we got little to no sonic action this episode. Looks like they’re pulling away from the magic wand of days of yore. (and by yore, I mean seasons five and six, the Dark Fairytale era of New!Who)
M: It was an obvious jab at the as of late overuse. Clara was also very active in deciding to do that, it’s nice to actually see her being a bit more proactive since her current incarnation is much more reticent than the others. I’m excited to see how she and the kids function together.
J: Which brings me back to last week’s episode and the Summer Falls parallel, since Clara was dressed an awful lot like the girl on the cover of the book. Same hairstyle and everything.
M: That hairstyle was mad intricate yo. I’m more and more convinced that Summer Falls will play into the finale and the 50th which supposedly rolls pretty directly out of the finale I think, at least I read something like that. Its plot is essentially the skeleton of the current Clara arc.
J: I am pretty convinced of it as well. I’m disappointed that the whole theme of the Great Intelligence has been dropped. At least it seems like it has.
M: I wouldn’t be so sure. They’re back for the finale. The images of River and the idea of a Post-Library River even being in the episode suggests the Great Intelligence may be hacking the Library’s data core or something of that ilk. People are speculating the teaser image of River is either a hologram or the Tardis voice interface thing (which is more or less the same).
J: I haven’t seen that image yet I don’t think. But I want River back so bad. Don’t tell 2009 Jen. She would kill me. She would also be really upset that I like Matt Smith but you know. Whatever. Anyhow, what I mean is like in season six they had Silence references almost every episode. Seven point two seems very disjointed to me.
M: Well the big tagline of the season was about stories having a beginning a middle and the end though sometimes not in the right order, which many people noticed anyway with the first half being out of order as well.
J: Your face is out of order. omg what if Ten is involved in the anniversary special because the great intelligence goes back to River’s death in the library and they muck things up and they end up saving River accidentally and then Ten never has to leave Donna and when Rose comes back he is like BAI GUYS YOU GET THE TARDIS NOW and then eleven gets cancelled out and that’s the end of Doctor Who forever.
M: Or he regenerates intooooo another actor you really like.
J: EWAN MCGREGOR FOR TWELVE. I’m sorry. I’m clearly done for the evening.
M: I wouldn’t say no. He’d be the singing Doctor.
J: in a kilt.
And now I’m really done for the night.
M: yis.
good.
fin
UNTIL NEXT WEEK, DEAR READER!
Jen Schiller and Max Eber
Staff Writers and Amy/The Doctor
Twitter.com/Jenisaur