Hello DC, my old friend… I have come to punish myself with you again.
Boy howdy. Here we are with Aqauman after 5 years of mostly failed DC movie attempts. Last time I saw the character of Aquaman, he was in the totally and completely awful Justice League, and to be fair, he was more of an Aquabro rather than an Aquaman. The lines and presence in Justice League was painful, but is it possible that Aquaman could have a shot at redemption?
Bad lines and kind of an off putting performance by Jason Momoa in Justice League really made me not care about the character at all. He was already a joke being the super hero that talks to fishes, and I did not know how a screen portrayal would work. It seemed like a arc out of the show Entourage, oh wait it was an arc in Entourage. Aquaman, in my eyes, just seemed hell bent on being another bad DC movie.
It should be to no surprise that I spent most of 2018 just piling on Aquaman. Every trailer and poster released had instant reactions from me, where I just could not help myself. I was compelled to pile on this movie with as much negativity as I could muster. As people started to see the film, and reviews started to come in, the word of mouth was mostly positive. I of course, began to construct many tin foil hat theories that these were DC fans in early screenings, and DC fans reviewing it. It had to be!
There was only one way to put an end to this… I had to see it for myself. Now after the Justice League fiasco, I was in a hard refusal mode to give DC any more of my money, and time. Something about our generation has that overwhelming feeling of the fear of missing out… and while I had no fears of missing out on an Aquaman movie, I felt disingenuous to continue my professional career of hating DC, and especially hating on this movie. I needed to find out for myself, and inform my empty hatred.
So there I was, unable to convince a single friend to see this movie with me, and sitting in the theater. DC had done it again; they had gotten my money as well as my butt in a seat. I felt fake, uneasy, and just gross about succumbing to the word of mouth on a DC flick. By the times those credits rolled, I was surprised by how I felt about the movie.
Aquaman ended up being totally and undoubtedly…. fine. There is nothing particularly great about it, but there is certainly nothing overly offensive about it, either. Aquaman hones in on a 80’s cartoon vibe and just lives there comfortably, bringing an element of fun to the DC movies that has never existed before. Don’t get me wrong, there is PLENTY to pick apart about his movie. Logic gaps, dumb characters, the failed attempts at comedy, the long run time, and a hit or miss soundtrack are a few of the cornucopia of issues on display here. Seriously, every time they use that guitar riff when Aquaman does anything, got old real quick. You could tell the creators thought it was a rad choice. It wasn’t.
These issues end up only being surface level because of that before mentioned fun factor. Now the comedy is not part of that fun factor, often leading to groans instead of laughs, but the spectacle of it all is unmatched in the DC shared universe. The effects are great, and step above the awful things we witnessed in Justice League (I will never got over that Superman mouth). They use a de-aging type technology to make actors look younger, and while it is not at MCU levels of perfection, it still good. The underwater effects and all the CG looks great, and it is much more comprehensible than it is made out to be in the very busy trailers. There are some stand out moments with the whole Trench arc, both in spectacle and just cool character moments. They really nail the action, and there were a couple moments I caught myself saying “wow” in a very Owen Wilson like manner to much of the spectacle partaking on screen. The scope and execution of these large action sequences are handled in all the right ways.
The cast is great too! Jason Mamoa really carries the movie as Arthur “don’t call my mom Martha” Curry. While his lines suck, he and the rest of the cast do their best with a wacky script. Amber Herd is good in this as well, acting as a good partner and fiercely capable warrior. Willem Dafoe and Patrick Wilson are great in their roles as well. Wilson really hams up the scenes he is in, but is obviously having fun with the character. This movie deserved an over the top, loud villain, and we got one with Ocean Master. Don’t get me wrong, there is so much ham in this movie, but if anything, the cast softens that blow.
The element of fun was always missing from DC movies of today, and Aquaman finally breaks that trend. This is a step in the right direction for the whole DC franchise, and I am hoping the other movies and projects are able to tap into this. Listen, I as much as anyone want a dark DC movie universe, but they tried it and it is just not working for them. It was time to try something new and you get that with Aquaman.
Now don’t get me wrong….DC has a long way to go to catch up with MCU. I cannot express enough how much I want DC to succeed, as I personally favor their characters more. Marvel just remains ahead, and it’s thanks to that early start and just an understanding of the source material. It is not too late for DC, and Aquaman really displays their understanding of the course correction that is in need. I don’t think it ever reaches the highest moments of Wonder Woman, but I think it has a more consistent quality as there is not an entire act that just falls apart like the third act does in Wonder Woman. While Wonder Woman is very good at many moments, I still don’t know if there is anything that is particularly very good about Aquaman, while at the same time not being particularly bad. I just see the changes and it fills me with a sort of optimism about things going forward.
DC has done plenty to earn the distrust of fans and consumers alike. If you genuinely like the movie, great! This is not to demonize the people who enjoy these movies, but I do hope that the current fans are accepting of the incoming changes. Aquaman is not a perfect film, heck it is hardly even a good one, but it gets a lot of the right stuff correct, and that helps me forgive its many shortcomings. It’s not bad…but it is just fine.
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San Diego Comic Con is just about a month away and there’s a ton of stuff that we’re excited to see come out of the show, like the big announcements from all of the major movie and TV studios and comic book big (and little) shots. However, one of the major draws to the West Coast mecca for geek culture is the exclusive toys that are available at the show.
Over the last couple of weeks, Funko, the purveyor of fine Pop! vinyls, has announced their lineup of SDCC exclusive figures. We have compiled everything right here for you so you can decide before you go which ones you can’t live without (or salivate over the exclusives you’ll need to hunt down on eBay if you can’t make it to San Diego).
Warner Brothers announced a slew of films yesterday morning, essentially challenging Marvel with their upcoming movies. So what’s all on the table? Aside from the previously slated Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them (now to be a trilogy), here’s what we can expect through 2020 from WB.
2016
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice
We’ve been privy to several released photos and plot lines from Zack Snyder’s gritty, filtered upcoming movie featuring a grizzly, buff, Batfleck and the chiseled jaw of Henry Cavill for some months now, yet I’m not alone in feeling blah toward the upcoming flick, even with the addition of Gal Gadot (whom I adore) as Diana of Themyscira. Inspired by Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight, we can probably expect something a bit darker than what we’re used to!
Comic Recommendation: Frank Miller’s Dark Knight books, or maybe Kingdom Come for a slighter older take on the Trinity
Suicide Squad
Again, gritty seems to to be the word of the year over at the studio, so who makes up the roster of this flick of bad guys directed by David Ayer? Deadshot seems to be the obvious choice, but my money is on Harley Quinn making her first ever movie appearance, as well as Black Manta, and the Wall herself, Amanda Waller. I’m all up for bad guys tearing shit up, but as long as there’s some FUN to it!
Comic Recommendation: Keith Giffen’s or Adam Glass’s Suicide Squad
2017
Wonder Woman
FINALLY. It’s been an unforgivable amount of years, but thank the old gods and the new, that our warrior is finally getting her own movie. Sure, it’s two years away, but it’s HAPPENING. Gal Gadot will again be donning the tiara as she battles her way through who knows what, but with the rumors swirling around that Diana’s origins will be in line with her New52 ones, we can except some amazing battles. Hopefully Brian Azzarello or Gail Simone will be on hand to assist with the script, so we can get the Wonder Woman we deserve. PLEASE DO NOT FUCK THIS UP, WARNER BROTHERS.
Comic Recommendation: Brian Azzarello’s Wonder Woman
Justice League
There’s not much to be said about this ensemble film. Will it rival the Avengers? Who knows. Will Martian Manhunter make his appearance? I fucking hope so. Will it be along the lines of the Justice League: War animated film, so our team spends the film sputtering insults at each other? Pass.
Comic Recommendation: Brad Meltzer’s Justice League of America
2018
The Flash
It’s not news to some that this cinematic Flash would be different from CW’s Flash, but for some it was quite the nasty shock that Ezra Miller (of Perks of Being a Wallflower fame) will be donning those red tights. No word yet on what sort of story we might see, but MAYBE we can get a different Flash instead of Barry Allen, since he’s basically covered in the television show. Mayhaps a twist on The Flash: Rebirth!
Comic Recommendation: Geoff John’s The Flash: Rebirth
Aquaman
I had tons to say about Aquaman, but when I found the photo above my wits left me. We know Jason Momoa will be outfitted in the green and gold of DC’s “lamest” superhero, and I personally wish to see the New52’s storyline on the big screen. It handles all the misconceptions about Aquaman, while rendering him a certified badass. This is definitely in my top two “must see” flicks on this list so far, simply because it was getting lonely being the only Aquaman fan!
Comic Recommendation: Geoff John’s Aquaman
2019
Shazam
We got confirmation that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would be wearing that shiny, white cape of Billy Batson’s alter-ego, but this is the movie I’m least excited to see. It has potential for laughs, as Shazam gets the job done with a child-like wonder, but my main concern is how strong the story will be. There’s so many questions too, such as will the rest of the Marvel family appear? Will he just be called Shazam, or will we know him by Captain Marvel (not to be confused by Marvel’s Captain Marvel), if the copyright is still in place? Will Black Adam be the big bad?
Comic Recommendation: Jeff Smith’s Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil
Justice League 2
Again, there’s not much to go one, except rumors, but if rumors are all I have, so be it. Speculation places Darkseid as the blue-faced villain of the first Justice League movie (joining other blue faced nemeses like Apocalypse, from Fox’s X-Men, and Thanos, from Marvel’s cinematic universe), so I will use my tiny bit of internet to plead for Starro or Amazo or Vandal Savage! There’s so much out there, just waiting to see a tiny slice of the general population. So much. It’d be amazing as a comic fan to see some of it played out in all its glory.
Comic Recommendation: Mark Waid’s JLA: Tower of Babel
2020
Cyborg
Of all the people in the DC Universe, I was most surprised by this announcement. Victor Stone isn’t a character that you normally see solo (normally he’s on the Teen Titans roster), but a teenager with a genius level intellect will be a nice addition to all the burly men (and one woman) we will so far be seeing! Ray Fisher doesn’t have much under his belt aside from a handful of Broadway shows, but he’s set to make his first appearance in the Batman v. Superman movie, giving us a peek at what we can expect in 2020.
Comic Recommendation: Geoff John’s Teen Titans or Judd Winnick’s Titans
Green Lantern
As much as I would love this Green Lantern movie to feature John Stewart (cause let’s all admit, 90% of the Ryan Reynolds GL was trash), I think that would be hopeful to the point of foolishness, given DC’s track record of being wholly ignorant of what we, the fans, want. TWO blockbuster filmed led by black men in the SAME YEAR, would be absolutely mind blowing, and tons of people are already fans of John Stewart, having grown up on the animated Justice League series. Let’s make this happen, DC. Representation matters!
Comic Recommendation: Geoff John’s Green Lantern: Rebirth or John Starlin’s Cosmic Odyssey
Overall, this is exciting, and I’m very much cautiously optimistic of what the future holds. There’s still stand alone Batman, and Superman films that haven’t been announced yet, so with these PLUS all that Marvel is bringing to the screen…well, let’s just say my wallet is going to be a lot lighter, assuming I like what I see from trailers, and so forth. My only thing is…I hope both studios think of the younger people, and involve some of the teenager teams, like Teen Titans, and the Runaways or Young Avengers.
What movie are you most excited for?
Editor’s Note: Leia will be glad to help you find the comics referenced above, just tweet at her (@ladyvader99)!
Wow, that is a mouthful of a title.
Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox is the latest animated endeavor from DC Entertainment based on the Geoff Johns penned 2011 story Flashpoint set to release on July 30th. By good fortune and luck, I was able to watch it two weeks early (many thanks to the friend who “acquired” it), so how well did it adapt the story?
For those of you unfamiliar with Flashpoint, it is the precursor to the relaunch of the DC New52 Universe and sets the event in motion. As you might expect, this is a Flash-centric story with Barry Allen waking up in an altered timeline after changing time and saving his mother from Professor Zoom (or Reverse Flash, whatever you prefer). No good deed comes without consequences, as the ripples of this change result in a war between Aquaman and Wonder Woman. Without access to the Speed Force or his powers, thanks to a crafty Professor Zoom, Barry re-enacts the moment that gave him his powers in the first place in a dangerous attempt to right the universe.
It’s a well known fact that comic adaptations will leave things out here and there, and in some portions, Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox did this wonderfully, while in others erred. For example, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. The base story remained the same: they were going to be married for “convenience” and then something happened that turned them against each other forever, but part of this sub plot is completely missing. Wonder Woman is also much more cutthroat and merciless, a change that was pretty amazing in my opinion. I won’t spoil anything for you in regards to the rest of the changes, in the hopes that you will check out the movie for yourself.
A much larger problem for me was the art behind the animation, agreeing with a fellow viewer about the lack of proper proportions and terrible mouths on the characters. Then, the second I curled my lip in distaste, the Flash would run and it was beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. Thankfully, I found ways to distract myself from staring at the characters’ lips and Aquaman’s grotesquely small head, namely by listening to the spot on star studded voice cast which included Cary Elwes, Nathan Fillion, Steve Blum, Justin Chambers, Kevin Conroy and more.
Those who loved the tie-ins rather than the main storyline will find plenty to love about the movie, as there are plenty of nods to characters that appeared because of Barry’s timeline tampering, including a 2 second appearance of the Canterbury Cricket. There’s even some fan service for those of us who loved Young Justice!
Overall, Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox is fun. You feel every one of those 75 minutes, but at least half of them fly by without you noticing. Let me know what you thought about it once you pick up your copy!! By the way, Amazon so far has it for the cheapest.
Grudge Match: The finest the JLU ever had to offer to me at 4 in the morning to inspire a tumblr rant reposted here.
here’s why:
The episodes starts out with some hair pulling between Huntress and Black Canary in Bludhaven(there’s a small cameo appearance from Nightwing if you pay attention). The pair are pretty evenly matched in their lack in the strength department and the altercation kinda fizzles out. The mediocrity of the duo is important for later on in the episode.
Huntress and Black Canary are eventually captured by Roulette (not important) and forced to fight as a team against a brainwashed and set-to-kill Hawkgirl and Vixen. You’re made to feel all impressed that H & BC could take down the more meta meta-humans, and to be honest, they deserve it. It was dope.
With the brainwashing devices destroyed, you, as the viewer, sit back and prepare for what should be the wrap up of what has been a decent episode of JLU. Ladies kick some bad guy ass, Huntress and Black Canary hug it out, everybody feels good….
But then you see Wonder Woman slowly rise up from the ground.
Now, I’ve never been truly impressed with Diana as a character or concept (before the New 52 anyway) but trust me, your mouth just drops. You reflect for a moment on the previous fight and realize that what you were actually watching was a bunch of girls braiding hair and hitting eachother in the ass with pillows. Not unentertaining, but holy fuck, Wonder Woman is going to rock each and everyone of their shits.
The best part is that the other chicks are totally on the same page. They slowly back away before Huntress and Black Canary just peace in a cloud of smoke. They want legit no parts of this shit show, which leaves Hawkgirl and Vixen to get their spines kicked right out of their bodies for a few minutes.
It’s a beautiful thing to watch.
Obviously Black Canary and Huntress run off to do some heroics more at their speed and destroy the mind controlling device the instant before Wonder Woman would have smashed Hawkgirl’s and Vixen’s heads together.
Not that I needed to see her do that, but it should be noted that both heads would have been powder. Better than powder actually. They would have been liquified into grape jelly. That’s right. I’m saying Wonder Woman would have hit them so fucking hard for just an instant their molecular structure would have turned into that of a grape, just so that a moment later they could be grape jelly.
The best best part is, once Wonder Woman comes out of her daze she glares at the heads of Hawkgirl and Vixen and tells them they better explain what happened. She’s holding her bruised and bloodied best friends by the scruff of their necks, but those bitches better explain themselves.
Perfection.
Kaitlyn D
@deadrabbit92
Staff-writer
(Please note: this blog is actually from an alternate universe created when Gail Simone speculated on how comics would be different if Stan Lee had been a woman. IHO Geek’s New Age Amazon has used her powers to copy and paste this from the AU version of our site. The images, however, are all her own. She regrets nothing.)
Okay, okay, you can stop the hatemail.
Not because I’m going to change my mind on this, far from it. But because all you’re doing is making yourself look stupid, boys.
You have to accept that you are in the minority here. Comics are a girl’s world and we’re not going to change just because you start bellowing about “equality.” You know what there’s no equality? Because comics aren’t for boys. They are for girls and so that is the audience the writers and artists will attempt to appeal to.
And so, that’s why I’m calling for fewer Fake Geek Guys and more Booth Beefcakes.
I am sick and tired of running into guys at cons who can’t name four Green Lanterns (cheat sheet, fellas: Halle Jordan, Gail Gardner, Joan Stewart, Kylie Rayner). It’s obvious you’re only at the con to pick up geek girls and ruin our good time. That was bad enough, but now you actually have comics PANDERING to you, with Brianna Wood being FORCED to write an All-Male X-Women team. I mean, a fantastic writer reduced to a marketing stunt just to sell you comics? Ugh. THANKS, GUYS.
As if that’s not enough, you have issues with Booth Beefcakes. I’m sorry, the cons aren’t FOR you. They’re for REAL comic fans who understand that this is just the way comics ARE. Look, you guys have Dale Simone to write your Batboy books, aren’t you happy, yet?
Anyway, Booth Beefcakes are totally compliments. We LIKE attractive looking guys, why shouldn’t we be able to oogle them just because it makes you uncomfortable? If you’re uncomfortable, DON’T COME TO THE CON. Trust me, you won’t be missed. One less fake-glasses-wearing dude who only knows Iron Woman because Sandra Bullock played her in a movie or Batgirl because of Anne Hathaway’s take on the role. Seriously? Sick of it.
At least the Booth Beefcakes generally know things about the characters they dress up as. And even if they don’t, who cares? I mean, my ONLY issue with them is how pissy some of them get when you grab their asses. Hey, honey, don’t leave it hanging out there if you don’t want attention. You dress like that, you’re gonna get touched and you should expect it.
So go ahead and whine about how Wonder Man hasn’t gotten a movie yet (because nobody wants to see movies about SUPERHEROES, okay? Nobody CARES) or bastarding on about how Starfire is drawn in his book. This isn’t your culture, it is ours and you’re welcome to deal with it or get the hell out.
The Beefcakes, however, can stay.
–Ashly is a dimension hopping mutant who constantly hopes that the next leap will be her leap home. She can be found on twitter @newageamazon