Almost every member of the Sub-Cultured team has a pet, and every single one of those pets has a nerd-tacular name (you can see them in the gallery below). BUT, none of them are named after actual fictional pets, which I thought was a little odd. So herein lies an article listing fictional pets you can use as a namesake for your very best friend:
For Those With A Feline Inclination
- Crookshanks: Hermione’s orange-striped, squishy-faced companion is both gloriously hideous and amazingly over-sized. And if that isn’t everything you want in a cat then I don’t know what you’re doing .
- Skimbleshanks: or really any of the names from “Cats” will do. Skimble just happens to be my favorite one, as well as one of the better songs from the show. If you’re choosing based on personality, it’s also probably preferable to have a railway cat over, say, one with remarkable knocking-things-over skills.
- Luna/Artemis: especially for cats with peculiar bald spots or a tendency to speak to you about your life as a magical girl.
- Garfield: The second ginger kitty on the list, but the only one who eats lasagna and suuuuuper hates Mondays.
- Marie/Toulouse/Berlioz/Duchess: These are the main characters from the Aristocats. Bonus points for having one of each. Points detracted for naming your cat after any other characters in the movie.
- Simba/Nala/Mufasa: I mean, obviously.
- Spot: Data’s little buddy would make a great companion to anyone who is struggling with that android/human divide. Or anyone who doesn’t want to seem as nerdy as they really are.
- Oliver: And again with the gingers. Oliver and Company is one of the very few mostly-animal-cast movies that I enjoy thoroughly. I’d like to blame it on Billy Joel, but it’s probably because the little girl and I have the same name.
- Figaro: For a throw-back to Pinocchio in case you’d forgotten–Gepetto has a cat and a fish, probably because he also thinks wishing is how you get kids.
- Binx: The cat from Hocus Pocus. Do not recommend letting your Binx get run over by a bus. I doubt the result would be the same as in the movie.
- Alfred: The Bat-family kitten. He can be your body guard and you can call him Al. Although he’d probably let you call him Al anyhow.
Nerdy Pets Who Are Also Dogs
- Nymeria/Ghost/Lady: So okay you like Game of Thrones. I suppose how dedicated you are to the series will determine how unique you want to go with this name selection.
- Snuffles/Sirius/Padfoot: Is your dog actually your godfather, on the run from the law? In that case, maybe seek legal assistance before worrying about what to call him. Otherwise these are some great Harry Potter references for you to choose from.
- Appa/Naga: There are a lot of big shaggy dogs on this list. Huh.
- Dug: If you’re really into being reminded every day how sad “Up” was, then this is the perfect name for your dog.
- Nana: So okay Peter Pan fans across mediums can agree that Nana is easily one of the greatest characters of all time. Hands down, no arguments.
- Dodger: Back to Oliver and Company, because I’m not kidding about how much I love that movie. Or Billy Joel. Or baseball.
- Pluto/Goofy: for those of us who have a more classical interest in Disney.
- Pizza Dog/Lucky/Arrow: If you haven’t read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye, then you should definitely do that, then name your pup after Clint’s second most-loyal companion (after Kate).
- Clifford: the biggest of the big red dogs. You can go the literal route and give this moniker to your St. Bernard, or get ironic with it and gift this name to your pomeranian. Either way it’s gonna be cute.
- Wishbone: When you have a dog that can read and was born with a paw print on one ear, you don’t really have a choice but to name him Wishbone. Otherwise you can still use the name, but deep down you know it won’t be as cool. As an added bonus you can ask your pup “what’s the story, Wishbone?” and he’ll probably give you a half-hour version of a classic tale like the Odyssey.
- Krypto: Superman’s dog. Krypto or Superdog might have been the first comic-book pet. He’s pretty cool and I bet your puppy is, too.
Nerdy Pets Who Don’t fit the Traditional Pet Dichotomy
- Pascal: Chameleons are really good at hide-and-seek.
- Trevor: keep a close eye on him though, I hear toads are slippery.
- Icarus: man this is from the depths of nerd-dom. Little Nemo, who is not lost nor in need of finding, has a friend who is a flying Squirrel. He has a rude name, but it’s still pretty nerdy.
- Yoshi: once upon a time my boyfriend knew a pig named Yoshi. But it would also be a great name for a turtle. Or a dino, I guess.
- Chewbacca: Any pet that looks like a walking carpet would benefit from such a regal name.
- Gizmo: be careful with this one. It comes with rules.
- Kermit: If you can teach your frog to play the banjo, you get bonus points.
- Abu: I like this name especially if you have a pet that can’t keep their paws to themselves. Or a magpie.
- Gus-Gus: Cinderella’s mice could sew like champs. What can yours do?
- Bowser: or, maybe not.
- Smaug: All your treasures will be super safe unless you have dwarf enemies in which case they may not be that safe.
I love Sailor Moon. I, like many other American kids, saw the DIC episodes and loved the scouts, eagerly awaiting the next day to come when I could eat my little snack of graham crackers and milk and see what Serena was up to. I didn’t know what anime really was until I was in college, but as soon as I could, I decided to spend over $300 on DVDs for the entirety of the Sailor Moon series. Turns out it was a scam, and I never got Sailor Moon in any tangible, legal form, so a sad lad was I. No new series, no old series. I was in Sailor Moon Purgatory.
But hark! Word of a Sailor Moon reboot was afoot! By Toei, the company behind the original, no less! Everyone was coming back, and it was going to be beautiful! Oh man, look at all this merch. I’d better buy it before everyone else does! Crunchyroll subscription ready. Makeshift moon stick in hand. Popcorn at the ready. Kitties that look nothing like Luna but are equally as adorable in position. Let’s do this, Sailor Moon Crystal.
Oh, goddamn it.
Sailor Moon fans were in a drought for some time. No new series, little to no new merchandise. What was a fan to do? Then seemingly out of nowhere, like Tuxedo Mask to our clumsy, dumb Usagi, Toei appeared waving the words Sailor Moon Crystal. It was to be a reboot of the original series remade with better animation and with storylines closer to the manga. Then as quickly as they came, they disappeared. Not a poster, not a screenshot, not so much as a sketch for months. Oh, but there was new merchandise! So much merchandise, you’d be hard pressed to find a nerd-centric store without at least a shirt. From figures to earrings to plushies, phone cases, tortilla chips, jigsaw puzzles, tea cups, trunks, forks, gummi candy, you name it, Sailor Moon was on it.
My girlfriend and I were in a store in Japan’s section of Epcot in Disney World, and she ended up buying two or three Sailor Moon things. We got to the counter and she said, “You know, it’s weird. There’s so much merchandise, but we still have no idea what the show’s going to look like. Wouldn’t it be funny if it was just terrible and we’re stuck with all this stuff?”
NO IT WOULD NOT.
I’m not even going to get in to the terrifically bad character development or cringe-worthy romance. JUST UGH. WHY. WHO SAID THIS WAS OKAY.
Oh man look at this spooky monster:
Great design! Clearly a human turned into a monster based off of the skin and giant shovel hands. They just look like they could slap your head and ass at the same time or squeeze the life out of you and simultaneously cop a feel.
NO, REI. BEAUTIFUL, SWEET REI. WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU.
WHY, SAILOR MOON CRYSTAL? WHY?
Listen, Toei. I get that you committed to bringing out a new Sailor Moon and maybe you didn’t budget enough time. But that doesn’t mean you had to get so sloppy with the show! Hell, say you were going to take another six months to get Rei’s hands surgically replaced with those of a bear so that they’d be noticeably smaller. We all would have understood. But this. This is just bad.
And some people say it’s just the still frames that are bad. And that’s a really good point, a lot of animated shows have some weirdness in the middle of action shots to make the animation look smoother. I get it. But also remember that anime is very keyframe heavy, so these frames are on the screen a lot longer than an action shot. Even taking that away, look at this:
Whyyyyyyyy.
On the plus side, Toei says it’s fixed some of the issues for the Blu-ray release. On one hand, you want to think, “That’s great, as long as it’s fixed.” But on the other, why didn’t they fix it for the original airing? Now, I’m not saying they rushed the show to get out this season, then went back to fix the animation for the Blu-ray so more people would buy it because they’re in it for the money (and my evidence is the mountains of merchandise they’ve cranked out that has soared past absurd and landed on the moon of ridiculousness).
But, I mean… I’m just sayin’.
This season is pretty much over and done with. At this point, I know not to expect quality from Sailor Moon Crystal. I’ve gone from watching it and being excited to see the storyline unfold to watching it in the same way I watch The Room — because it’s kind of a train wreck and I can’t look away. The animation is just so bad, it’s more fun to look for goofy faces than to see their bland personalities be thrust forward through the plot for plot’s sake. So I guess even though it’s really bad, it’s one of my favorite parts of the show?
Wow, that’s depressing to realize.
Oh, and since there’s no where better to mention this — Mamoru Chiba walks about in his tuxedo during the day AND EXPECTS NOBODY TO FIGURE OUT HE’S TUXEDO MASK.
Who’s excited to see what immersion-breaking nonsense comes up next week?
If you want to see more terrible animation crimes from Sailor Moon Crystal, head on over to Crystal Quality, a tumblr categorizing the worst Sailor Moon Crystal flubs. It’s seriously great.
Just in case you were unaware, the rabid fangirl within me has awakened. New Sailor Moon anime is JUST on the horizon, and it has taken everything in me to not squeal at ear piercing levels. Momoiro Clover was recently on MTV Japan and performed the remade theme song for the upcoming anime, and I won’t lie… I shed a tear or two. Check it out!
Leia Calderon
Editor
@ladyvader99
leia@sub-cultured.com
Last year we listed some of our favorite fictional couples. This year, we’re turning the spotlight on some of our favorite fictional ladies who manage to ride solo (and one who does that literally. OH SNAP.), and still succeed. In order to qualify for this list, these ladies don’t necessarily have to remain single til their dying day, but they did need to remain independent, and getting their man could not be one of their main goals.
Hermione Granger
Perhaps it’s surprising that one half of my OTP is at the top of this list. But that’s exactly my point here–does Hermione really NEED a man to tell her what to do or how to do it? No. No she does not. And that’s the great part about being on this list, and being a modern lady. You can have a dude in your life but he shouldn’t be a crutch. He should just be a lovely red haired man who is particularly fond of pets and also whose parents are pretty much the best people on the planet. I’m digressing. The point here is that Hermione is smart, she’s resourceful, she knows how to make fire in a jar. Bam. Independent woman.
Runners up in the Harry Potter universe:
Luna Lovegood, who became a herione despite starting off as that crazy chick in the corner, and book!
Ginny Weasley, who is way cooler and more interesting than her wet-noodle movie counterpart.
Merida DunBroch
Merida is the best. When that movie ended and (spoiler alert) she was still chillin’ as a Princess with no Prince, it was like a breath of fresh air. Some people reacted by accusing her of being a lesbian. To which every feminist and most reasonable people on the planet responded, “And so what if she is?”. However, that’s not really the point. The point is, she can ride a gigantic horse, climb mountains without equipment, and quiet a castle mess hall full of rowdy drunk Scotsmen. Trust me–that is no easy feat. Merida doesn’t even care about all the guys trying for her hand, and what’s more, she points out that they shouldn’t be forced to love HER, either. That’s called equality.
Runner-up?
That goes to Queen Elinor DunBroch, who kicks ass in spite of her bumbling husband and defiant children. She’s a mom and a Queen and a fairly modern woman. For living in medieval Scotland, of course.
Leia Organa-Solo
Leia and Hermione have a lot in common in the man category, except that Han is just as independent on his own as Leia is on hers. Their courtship is nothing short of adorable, but Leia knows inter-planetary warfare isn’t the time to let her feelings get in the way of… inter-planetary warfare. Not to mention she essentially frees herself from Jabba and manages to kill him before taking off. Okay, so the first time we see her she’s in jail and the guys actually open her cell, but who has the best aim among them? Who gets the message to Obi-Wan in the first place? It’s Leia. Take the men out of the movie and she might have had a harder time getting out of these situations, but without jerks like her overbearing dad (sorry, Vader), maybe there wouldn’t have been the Star Wars to begin with.
On second thought, that would be a terrible idea. Let the men fuck things up so Leia can fix them.
Runners up all come from the Extended Universe:
Jaina Solo, Mara Jade, and Ahsoka Tano all squeak in behind Leia. That doesn’t mean they’re less heroic or independent. Ahsoka might still be a Padawan but she’s a heroine in her own right, and Jaina manages to save the entire universe from (surprise) her jerk of a brother. What is it with the Skywalkers and their descendants?
Ami Mizuno
While each of the sailor scouts kind of split the heroic action, they also split their time fairly equally between being heroic and drooling over boys. In the early seasons, it feels like Serena can’t do shit without fighting over Andrew, Darien, that Fish-eye guy, or (good looks, Usagi…) Amara. Ami, or Sailor Mercury, is the exception that proves the rule in this case. When she isn’t fighting evil by moonlight, she’s studying or helping Rini out with things, or just generally being a fine upstanding citizen. She’s like that friend who you a little bit hated because after they left your mom was always like, “Why can’t you be more like her?”. Not to mention, Ami is always way more on top of the whole fighting evil thing than probably any of the other scouts care to be. She takes everything very seriously. It’s like a pain in the ass to get her to come to the beach. Even in the summer. But all that focus pays off, and Ami frequently stays one step ahead of whatever suddenly anthropomorphic plant the girls wind up fighting.
Runner up in the Sailor Moon universe is Sailor Pluto.
She’s cool, and she doesn’t give a crap about Darien.
Donna Noble
BEFORE YOU GET UPSET – Yes I know that in her first episode her storyline revolves around getting and keeping a man. However. Compared to the rest of the Doctor’s companions, Donna is easily the most independent. She likes traveling with the Doctor because it makes her life more interesting, not because she feels bad for and eventually loves him, not because she’s in love with him from the get-go, and not because he promised her he’d be back when she was six and now she’s completely fixated on him. Donna is with the Doctor on her terms, and she gives him shit for being… the Doctor. I’d argue that most of the companions in new!Who are heroines in their own right, but they have at the very least romantically fond feelings towards the Doctor, and spend their time with him like some strange alien-human version of Hugh Hefner and every girlfriend he hasn’t married. They want to make him THEIR Doctor, but Donna just wants to hang out and be bros.
Runner up goes begrudgingly to Martha Jones.
Look, I don’t like her, but I get why people do. She’s in love with the Doctor and he’s a butthole to her, and she leaves. It takes her way longer than I would have liked to figure out he doesn’t feel the same way she does, but I guess she’s better than Clara, whose literal entire storyline revolves around saving the Doctor.
Bulma Briefs
If you’ve been with us since the beginning, you know we feel some kind of way about the women in Dragon Ball, Z, and GT, and this may be partially personal preference speaking, but Bulma is just the greatest. Again, she marries Vegeta, but I’m pretty sure that went something like, “OH OKAY WE’RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY HERE’S YOUR SUIT HERE’S MY DRESS ANNNND WE’RE DONE.” Bulma is ultra smart, and goes out on her own to find the Dragon Balls. Her independence has been hotly contested, but I remember Bulma, especially in Dragonball, as a strong woman who will pretty much take a sledge hammer to any man’s head if he disrespects her.
Runners up include Videl and Chi-Chi
Both of whom could beat the crap out of all of us, and without whom their husbands would have died early deaths from gluttony and stupidity. (Although I love them both very much.)
Elphaba Thropp
Elphaba is probably more commonly known to most of you as the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s the main character in the novel Wicked, and in the musical based on the novel. Elphaba’s gotten the shaft from every last man in her life, and from some of the women, too. That doesn’t stop her from honing her skills in magic, heading off to University, befriending people who only started chilling with her to make fun of her, and unmasking a major government cover-up. Elphaba wants to become the Wizard’s right-hand woman, but when she finds out what he’s really up to she risks her life to set things right. Even when she does get a man, she doesn’t let him change her direction or slow her down in her ultimate goal.
Runner up is, of course, Galinda the good. (No, I didn’t spell that wrong.)
Galinda is a little too focused on the men around her for my liking, and of course the whole point of Wicked is to reverse our expectations. But in the end it’s not about her relationships with men – not even the Wizard. The story is truly about how Elphaba and Galinda balance each other out and turn each other from caricatures into “real” people. Without one, the other wouldn’t be nearly as complex.
Sarabi from The Lion King
HAVE YOU SEEN THE LION KING? ALSO, DO LIONS HAVE LAST NAMES?
Sarabi. Gives. No. Fucks.
Runner up: Nala.
She tells Simba like it is and drags his ass back to pride rock.
Lara Croft
Again, if I need to back this one up, I don’t know where you’ve been living. Lara Croft is still one of the only female character in video games who has single-handedly headed up a massive franchise for the last 22 years. She’s gotta be smart and in good shape to do the kind of tomb raiding she’s been doing for decades, and you know you’ve made it when Angelina Jolie plays you in a film. Plus, she’s become more realistically proportioned as the years have passed. Go ahead. Name one man that Lara has had to lean on, for anything, ever. Okay?
That’s what I thought.
Princess Tiana
Tiana has one goal and one goal only: to open her own restaurant. She works hard to save up money to buy her restaurant. She makes lots of food because she wants to get better when she owns her own restaurant. She has the opportunity to cater a big party to get better exposure for her eventual restaurant. See the pattern here? Arguably, Naveen teaches her to love or something, but when they do get married, guess what he does? Goes to work in her restaurant. And guess who told her she needed other people in order to be happy with that restaurant? Mama Odie. Yeah. Tiana don’t need no man.
Runner up: Mulan.
Mulan came before Tiana, and she definitely busted through lady stereotypes and hated being all dolled up by the Matchmaker. However, she makes her sacrifice on behalf of her father, and takes part in the fighting… but doesn’t have her own “restaurant”.
Got any other super ultra badass babes you can think of? Let us know in the comments below!
I love Sailor Moon and I LOVED the Avengers movie so lo and behold my joy at this mashup :D Be sure to check out the artist and her tumblr!
The first time I saw an anime was when I was 9 years old and it was one of the “Race Around the World” episodes of Speed Racer. If you’ve seen this, you’ll know it’s an arc full of emotion, tension, apprehension, and above all, sheer joy. This experience was further enhanced by the jaunty tune that was its opening theme. To this day, I must refrain from humming it when I get behind the wheel of a car. My second experience with anime was Outlaw Star and one of the Gundam series during Cartoon Network’s beginning brushes with airing anime blocks. I was uninterested in the mecha filled adventures of Gundam and the space western odyssey that was Outlaw Star and their opening themes lacked any sense of melody to my newly preteen ears. (more…)