Vikings and Pirates and Accordions Oh My.

B’Ware! Thar be Vikings!

Arm the villagers! Hide the young ones! Flee to the country!

Find the GPS! Where is my sunblock?! Is there an ATM?!

This past Sunday I attended the Vista Viking Festival put on by the Sons of Norway  and Norwegian Fish Club Odin culture communities in dusty, avocado tree filled and back roads winding Vista.

Good crap it was hot. But there were pirates and an impromptu accordion lesson.

Norse folk were not made this weather. Nor was their historically appropriate full coverage garb. I was smart enough to kick it in a sundress. Had I gone the Faire style route, I may not be writing this to you now.

I attend culture and dress up festivals whenever possible.  They’re fun, the people are interesting, you can learn a lot, they are usually cheap (until you find the beer garden) and I will eat just about anything. I don’t even care how they prepped it or what went into it. So long as the Surgeon General didn’t send out a fatwa on it, I’m good.

This time, I did not get a single Lingonberry anything ( Scandanavian food staple) and as I went to leave when the fest was over, a rent-a-cop was thumbing his glock at me whilst I bought a souvenir.

Yes . . . Viking World Tour joke T-shirt . . . instantly suspect. I was clearly hiding something in my intricate hair braids.

Being of Norwegian heritage, I was having a great time geeking out and asking people questions. How did you build those bread ovens? Tell about what you’re making? Can I have more honey butter?Do you have that in my size? Seriously, where are you hiding the Lingonberry stuff?

I even learned how to order my beer in Norwegian. Which I promptly forgot, following the consumption of said beer.

The day was super fun. My favorite (the only) pirate rock band I know, The Dread Crew of OddWood was playing and as always, delivered horrible jokes, bad innuendos, lots of beard (they give great beard) and made my fella hoot and holler like the secret nerd he is.

The Dread Crew are, among all the above listed, rather talented musicians and a great stage show. Fun, mildy dysfunctional (in the good way) they are also very personable on a one to one basis AND if you are lucky like the young fellow pictured, impromptu music teachers.

This little guy walked up to Wolfbeard (who can play a penny whistle with his nose) and just started to press buttons. And then keys. And then Wolf and I strapped him into the accordion to see what he could do.

He did this:

It was, one of the cutest things I have ever seen.

I did not get to paint any Dala Horses, I did not get to compete in the archery contest, I did not get to throw any spears, knives or hammers. I got dirt up my nose, Aquavit in my blood (not for the faint of heart), straw in my skirt and a sunburn.

However, I did get to see a crusty pirate kick it with a little kid and teach him to play an accordion.

Yet still no Lingonberries. Dammit.